It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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