it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
