so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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