I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize