at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
