I just saw a hot homeless man
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
