Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
