it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
