were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
are you so shy because you have an std?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
