so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
