dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
