You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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