nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
