Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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