Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
