i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
This is not my ceiling
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
