just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
