People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize