She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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