so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
