is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
