why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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