oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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