Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
