Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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