It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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