carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
