your thong is hanging out like whoa
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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