if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
