we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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