So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
