Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize