just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
