I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
What drink are we having for lunch?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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