Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
