I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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