Just fell off a train. Bad.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
In other news, I just burned my penis
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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