I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
