we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
