Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
