She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
