try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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