Who did Billy Mays play for?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
