I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
