I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize