ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize