I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
