Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
