Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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