Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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