I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
