Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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