You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
