Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
