I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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