I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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