My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
