office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
