his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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