That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Who died my cat blue again?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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