omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
