This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
